Give Them What They Actually Need

 They asked for money, but what they really needed was dignity. They wanted a solution, but what they truly longed for was to be seen. It’s easy to give what’s expected but it takes love to give what actually restores.

It’s easier to hand someone bread than to sit with them in their hunger, easier to give money than to listen, easier to do what looks generous than to ask, what does this person truly need?

We often rush in with solutions, full of good intentions, assuming we know what’s best. But love, real love slows down. It listens and discerns. It doesn’t just react to what’s obvious but it responds to what’s hidden.

In the book “When Helping Hurts”, there’s a powerful reminder: the desire to help can sometimes become harmful. Especially when we assume people are only lacking material things. But often, the real struggle is much deeper, sometimes it’s shame, hopelessness, disconnection,etc…And when we meet visible needs but ignore invisible wounds, we risk offering temporary comfort while leaving the soul untouched.

Compassion isn’t about responding to noise, it’s about perceiving pain. And the most meaningful help is not always the most immediate, it’s the kind that empowers rather than rescues. The kind that invites someone to stand tall, not stay dependent.

I once saw someone ask for spare change, and instead of walking by or dropping coins, a man stopped and offered them lunch. But more than that, he sat with them while they ate. No rush, no sermon, just presence. That small act did more than feed a body, it honored a soul.

Jesus modeled this perfectly, he never healed just for the sake of miracles, he looked beyond the surface. He saw the woman who touched His robe by calling her “daughter “, not just her sickness. He saw the man lowered through the roof, and forgave his sins before healing his legs. He always gave what brought wholeness, even when it wasn’t what people were asking for.

And that’s what love looks like. That’s what deep, discerning compassion does. It refuses to be loud for appearance’s sake. It chooses the slow, sacred path of restoration.

So maybe the challenge isn’t to become more generous, but to become more attentive. To be the kind of people who don’t just give, but see. Who don’t just respond, but restore.

Because sometimes, the most radical thing you can do is not give what’s expected. It’s to pause, look deeper, and ask:

What would actually bring life here?