The Gift of a Soul That Understands Yours

 For Benisse Elsa Manzi, on her 28th birthday.

Reflections on friendship, gratitude, and the quiet ways God sometimes loves us through people.

Some people enter your life so early that you don’t yet realize how deeply they will shape your story.

You meet them in ordinary places, classrooms, hallways, conversations that seem small at the time. Nothing about the moment suggests that this person will one day become someone whose presence will echo through years of your life.

And yet sometimes, that is exactly what God is doing.

Today my best friend turns 28, and thinking about her birthday has made me pause and look back at the friendship we have carried since we were fourteen years old.

When you are fourteen, you don’t know what it means to grow alongside someone for years. You don’t know how many versions of yourself still exist ahead of you , the questions you will wrestle with, the dreams that will change, the steps of faith that will scare you, the moments when you will need someone to remind you who you are.

But sometimes God quietly plants a friendship that will grow through all of those seasons.

And when I think about our friendship, one word keeps returning to my mind: understanding.

Not the casual understanding that comes from spending time together, but the deeper kind, the kind where someone learns the language of your thoughts. Where they listen long enough to recognize what you are trying to say even when you are still figuring it out yourself.

That kind of understanding is rare.

It creates a space where you can speak freely, think out loud, and grow without fear of being misunderstood.

Over the years, my best friend has been one of those people in my life. She has been there in quiet ways that might not seem extraordinary from the outside, but that has meant everything to me. She has read drafts of things I was writing before anyone else ever saw them. When I was preparing to preach for the first time, she was the one listening, encouraging, and helping me notice where something sounded unclear.

Sometimes we send each other podcasts that connect to a conversation we had days before, little reminders that our thoughts are still traveling together even when we are far apart.

Sometimes I call her simply because my mind is full and I need a place to process something, even a strange dream that left me thinking. And sometimes we can just sit in silence on the phone, knowing the other person is there.

When I think about friendships like this, I often find myself remembering the story of Jonathan and David in the Bible.

Scripture says something remarkable about their relationship:

“Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.”

— 1 Samuel 18:3

That verse has always moved me, because it describes a kind of friendship that goes beyond simple affection. A covenant means commitment, it means choosing loyalty, choosing to care about someone’s life and calling with the same sincerity you care about your own.

It is the kind of friendship where someone celebrates what God is doing in your life rather than feeling threatened by it. And when I think about the way my best friend has stood beside me through different seasons, I recognize something similar in the heart of our friendship.

She has always been someone who celebrates what God is doing in my life. When I take steps that feel uncertain or intimidating, she is one of the first people to encourage me forward. When I forget the progress I’ve made, she reminds me of the things God has already done.

And in moments when my hope feels weak, she has a way of reminding me where my strength truly comes from.

There is another verse in the story of Jonathan and David that captures this beautifully:

“Jonathan went to David and helped him find strength in God.”

— 1 Samuel 23:16

That line reveals something profound about their bond. Jonathan didn’t just support David emotionally, he strengthened him spiritually. And while I would never claim that our friendship mirrors their story exactly, I recognize the same spirit in the way we care for each other.

There have been moments when I felt discouraged, uncertain, or overwhelmed, and she reminded me of my strengths when I could not see them. She reminded me of the steps God had already helped me take when I felt like I wasn’t moving forward at all.

Sometimes when it feels like when I am losing hope, she quietly goes to war to help me find it again.

And the truth is, we do that for each other.

That’s what makes friendships like this so beautiful. They are not about one person carrying the other, they are about two people choosing to strengthen each other again and again as life unfolds.

The Bible says that Jonathan and David’s souls were “knit together.”

It is a poetic way of describing something that is difficult to explain but easy to recognize when you experience it, a deep emotional and spiritual understanding that grows over time.

A soul that understands yours.

And today, as I celebrate my best friend’s birthday, I realize how grateful I am for that gift.

Because behind all of these reflections is not just an idea about friendship. There is a real person who has walked alongside me for years. Someone who has listened patiently, believed in me sincerely, and allowed our friendship to grow with care and intention.

So today I want to say something simple but deeply sincere.

Thank you.

Thank you for the ways you have shown up in my life, often in quiet moments that you may not even realize were significant. Thank you for celebrating the steps I take, for encouraging the things God places in my heart, and for reminding me of who I am when I forget.

You have touched my soul in ways I will never forget.

And I don’t take that gift for granted.

When I think about the future and the life I hope to build one day, I know there is a prayer I will carry for my children.

I will pray that they encounter a friendship like ours.

Not because friendships make life perfect, but because a friendship rooted in understanding, loyalty, and grace can protect a person’s heart in ways that are difficult to describe.

If they find someone who listens to them deeply, who believes in the good inside them even when they struggle to see it themselves, who celebrates their calling instead of competing with it, then I will know they have received one of life’s quiet miracles.

And as I celebrate my best friend’s birthday today, I find myself grateful in a very simple way: Somewhere in the ordinary years of adolescence, God placed a friendship in my life that would grow into something deeper than I ever expected.

And somehow, through every season of life, He allowed me to keep it.

For that gift, and for the beautiful soul behind it — I will always be grateful.

⸻

A Prayer for Those Who Long for Friendship

Lord,

You created us for connection and companionship. You know the deep desire in our hearts to be known and understood.

For those who have struggled with friendship, who have known disappointment, distance, or loneliness, I pray that You bring healing and hope.

Send into their lives people who reflect Your kindness — friends who listen with patience, speak with wisdom, and strengthen one another in You.

And just as You once knit hearts together in the friendships we see in Scripture, continue to write those kinds of friendships into our stories today.

Amen.